But who is my neighbor?

It seems to be second nature to us to look for ways to follow the letter of the law while tiptoeing around the intent of the law. We often place greater value in the precision with which something is stated than in understanding what was stated to begin with. For example, a child might be sitting in eager anticipation of tasting a beautiful looking cake, waiting for everyone to be served when her mother says “Don’t eat any until everyone has one,” followed by an enthusiastic thrust of the fork where that child shovels a single yet large piece of cake into her mouth. When confronted, that child might answer “I wasn’t eating it, I just took a taste.”

“A taste”! She was not “eating” her cake, as that would include her finishing it. She just took “a taste” which is certainly distinct from “eating.” Except that it is not. The reason, of course, her mother told her to wait was to practice self restraint and to be courteous of everyone else. The child was not justified in her clever semantic distinction. She was simply being disobedient. And what do you think of this scholar of the Law? When he pressed Jesus by asking “And who is my neighbor?”, he was exposing himself as one who wished to be counted among the righteous without actually being righteous. In response, the Lord told the famous parable of the good Samaritan. He told this in a way to demonstrate the severe lack of compassion in the Lawyer’s heart. Compassion, of course, being the heart of the command to love “your neighbor as yourself.”

When setting expectations with others, be keenly aware of this natural human tendency. Do not allow yourself to fall into the trap of saying, “Well technically you said…” Be a man or woman of your word, letting your “yes” be “yes” and your “no” be “no” (Matthew 5:37). Ask clarifying questions and be specific. Make sure you understand and can articulate what is precisely expected of you and why. This will pay dividends as you learn to develop helpful skills like active listening and conflict management. It will also give others confidence in your reliability, knowing that when they ask you for something, you will follow through.

As for your spiritual growth, remind yourself that spiritual discipline does not mean checking boxes. “I read my devotional today, so I’m all set for the day.” No, we are told in the very first Psalm that the blessed man is the one whose “delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night.” (Psalm 1:2) Instead of looking at this discipline as a task, consider how God desires to use it to grow and refine you. Look at the Psalm and consider all the traits assigned to this blessed man: he does not “walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the way of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers!” This contrast offers a hint at what God desires for such a person. Instead of being like the wicked and sinning scoffer, He wants you to take counsel from His word and become wise. “The way of an ignorant fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” (Proverbs 12:15) And what wiser counsel is there but the word of God!?

So you see, reading the Bible every day, going through a devotional, or having your designated quiet time does not “check a box” or do anything to justify you. You are justified by the work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and by His grace His Holy Spirit is shaping you to become more like Jesus. Invite Him to change you by carefully reading the scriptures and accomplishing the obedience they command rather than wondering how you can fit Christianity into your life that otherwise looks like everyone’s around you.

May the Lord bless you and conform you into the image of His Son.